As Charm School enters the battlefield, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School.

When you control no non-token permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in your hand, you win the game.

Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you gain 5 life.

Target player and each of that player's teammates exchange life totals.

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

First strike
, Do the Hokey Pokey (Stand up, wiggle your butt, raise your hands above your head, and shake them wildly as you rotate 360 degrees): The next time a source of your choice would deal damage to Knight of the Hokey Pokey this turn, prevent that damage.

Whenever Lexivore deals damage to a player, destroy target nontoken permanent, other than Lexivore, with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more permanents are tied for most lines of text, target any one of them.)

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's end step, if you didn't compliment that player on their game play this turn, sacrifice Miss Demeanor.

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

Destroy target nontoken permanent that does not share a color with clothing worn by its controller. You can't choose an artifact or a land.

Prevent the next 3 damage total that would be dealt to any number of creatures and/or players this turn. If there are more players in the room of the opposite sex, prevent 6 damage this way instead.

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as 'PLAYER'), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as 'ACTION QUEUE'), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a PLAYER can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as 'HAND').

As Censorship enters the battlefield, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.
Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

As Clam Session enters the battlefield, choose a word.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sing at least six words of a song, at least one of which is the chosen word. If you don't, sacrifice Clam Session. You can't repeat a song.

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Whenever Clambassadors deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Choose a card name, then target spell's controller reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, counter that spell.

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

When Free-for-All enters the battlefield, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Each player reveals the top card of their library to all other players by continuously holding it against their forehead. This doesn't allow a player to look at their own card. (That card is still the top card of your library. If you would draw a card, draw that one instead and replace it with the next card of your library.)

Whenever a player casts a spell, if a card with the same name as that spell is in a graveyard and that player didn't say "Sorry" before casting the spell, any other player may say "Sorry". If one does, counter that spell.
Whenever a player says "Sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

You must cast both B.F.M. cards to put
leaves the battlefield, sacrifice the other.
B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

: Return Deadhead from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate this ability only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card.

As Handcuffs enters the battlefield, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Flying, first strike
, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate this ability only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Flying
As Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

You and your teammates may sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed in this way, add .

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, Ow deals 1 damage to that player unless he or she says "Ow" once for each nontoken permanent named Ow.

Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice Poultrygeist. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on Poultrygeist.

As Temp of the Damned enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Temp of the Damned enters the battlefield with a number of funk counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Temp of the Damned unless you remove a funk counter from Temp of the Damned.

Enchant hand controlled by an opponent
As Volrath's Motion Sensor enters the battlefield, the controller of enchanted hand balances Volrath's Motion Sensor on the back of that hand.
When Volrath's Motion Sensor falls off the enchanted hand, sacrifice Volrath's Motion Sensor and the controller of that hand loses 3 life.

Whenever any player taps a permanent, that player choose one of their opponents. The chosen player gains control of that permanent at the beginning of the next end step.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player didn't tap any nonland permanents that turn, Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire deals 3 damage to that player.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice Chicken Egg and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

, : Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate this ability only any time it makes sense.)

If Goblin Bowling Team would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment card
4 — An artifact card
5 — A creature card
6 — An instant or sorcery card

, : Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and player.

Choose a land type. Exile all lands of that type that you control. Drop those cards, one at a time, onto the battlefield from a height of at least one foot. Destroy each nontoken permanent that is completely covered by those cards. Then return, tapped, all lands dropped in this way to the battlefield.

Whenever any spell targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. That spell is redirected to the player or players with the lowest die roll. If two or more players tie for the lowest die roll, they reroll until there is no tie.

When Spark Fiend enters the battlefield, roll two six-sided dice. On a total of 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice Spark Fiend. On a total of 7 or 11, do not roll dice for Spark Fiend during any of your following upkeeps. If you roll any other total, note it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll two six-sided dice. On a total of 7, sacrifice Spark Fiend. If you roll the noted total, do not roll dice for Spark Fiend during any of your following upkeep steps. On any other roll, there is no effect.

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players.

Enchant creature
For each other card named Cardboard Carapace you have with you outside the game, enchanted creature gets +1/+1.

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.

As Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, Free-Range Chicken gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

Exile all lands and shuffle them together. Randomly deal to each player one land card for each land he or she controlled before. Each player puts those lands onto the battlefield under their control, untapped.

When Ghazbán Ogress enters the battlefield, if one player has won more Magic games that day than any other player, that player gains control of Ghazbán Ogress.

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Gus enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may remove a counter from a permanent you control. If you don't, sacrifice Hungry Hungry Heifer.

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles their library.

When Mine, Mine, Mine! enters the battlefield, each player puts their library into their hand.
Players have no maximum hand size and don't lose as a result of being unable to draw a card.
Each player can't cast more than one spell each turn.
When Mine, Mine, Mine! leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles their hand and graveyard into their library.

: Choose a card in your hand. Covering the artist's name, reveal the card to target player. If that player can't name the artist, reveal the artist's name and put a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token onto the battlefield.

All creatures controlled by target player and their teammates get +1/+1 until end of turn.

: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink.
Errata: You pay any costs for the drink.

: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Spells you cast cost less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

, : Tear Chaos Confetti into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.

Flying
, Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch Clay Pigeon with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap Clay Pigeon. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

, : Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add .
3 — Add .
4 — Add .
5 — Add .
6 — Add .

, , Sacrifice Jester's Sombrero: Look at target player's sideboard, choose three cards from it, and remove those cards from the match.

Mirror Mirror enters the battlefield tapped.
, , Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with target player and exchange all permanents you control, and all cards in your hand, library, and graveyard, with that player until end of game.

Rock Lobsters can't attack or block.

Scissors Lizards can't attack or block.

Paper Tigers can't attack or block.

, , Sacrifice Spatula of the Ages: You may put a silver-bordered permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Urza's Contact Lenses enters the battlefield tapped.
Urza's Contact Lenses doesn't untap during its controller's untap steps.
As long as Urza's Contact Lenses is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed.
Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap Urza's Contact Lenses.

: Roll a six-sided die. Urza's Science Fair Project gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.